Written May 31, 2012
(My beloved niece Seana passed from this life to the next on May 19, 2012. Ovarian Cancer took her life. She was only 31 years old. Over the next while I will share the thoughts that I recorded during the time before and after Seana’s death. I invite you to join me as I share what was on my heart, and also pay tribute to my niece, and to her family.)
It is hard sometimes to believe that Seana is gone.
Gone from our reality to the next.
Our world seems a little less bright, the days are longer, bleaker.
Face to face
Our hope is heaven, to picture Seana there is overwhelming – to imagine her pain-free, full of joy and, loved beyond anything we might imagine. Loved by Jesus.
Seana now sees Him face to face. I can see her enter into lively discussions with Him, I can see her throw her back and laugh with Him, their delight in each other a blazing light. I can see her being enveloped in His embrace, looking into His radiant eyes that brim, overflow with compassion and care. Seana and Jesus talking about the past six years, I see Jesus weeping for her pain, her suffering, reaching across the table holding both of her hands.
All is revealed
These hands now held in His nail-scarred hands as He explains the wonder of His mysterious ways. Then Seana reacts; the amazement, the slow dawning of meaning and I see her clasping her hands together – caught up in what she now knows, what she now understands – now that she is there on the other side. I see the relief and comfort in her face. I see the inconceivable tenderness in the face of Jesus as He gazes at Seana, at her beautiful face now glowing with health and vitality.
Seana is running up to Dad and Mom, her grandparents. Oh, the bliss of seeing one another again, the hugs, the kisses, the laughter. She is walking with Dad through his garden, hiking with him through the forest and up the glorious mountains. Daddy, he is no longer breathless, his heart now and forever beats strong. Seana and Dad sit down; he is drawing – sketching the incomparable beauty that surrounds them and she is leaning her head on him watching as he works just as she did as a young child.
Mom and Seana standing in that kitchen of kitchens baking Buttermilk Biscuits; they come out delicious and fragrant. I see Seana bite into one, she, who here, for so long could not eat, now savours this biscuit that she and her grandmother have made together. Oh, the recipes they will try out, oh the new ones that they will develop. Everything that Mom says make sense! What wonder, Mom is again her intelligent self – the frail, depleted mind and body, restored.
I see Elisabeth, her delicate beauty warms everyone around her… I see Seana and Elisabeth; running towards each other – jumping up and down, grabbing each other’s hand and twirling with delight! They are so thrilled to see each other!!! The sharp sting and deep grief of losing Elisabeth is now over for Seana.
(To read the story of my niece, Elisabeth, who passed when she was only five years old, go to this link.)https://judygibson.ca/hello-goodbye/
Seana and Elisabeth, they are laughing with pure unadulterated glee. Oh, what fun they are having! Seana tells Elisabeth she will teach her Jijitsu and they drop to the carpet of the greenest, softest grasses, effervescent blooms surround them and Seana teaches Elisabeth a move. Elisabeth taps with laughter, she has heard the stories about Seana, that Seana does not tap and so she gives in, taps.
Elisabeth is so glad that one of her cousins is here – and they play, learn and grow together. There are endless adventures for them to discover and after their battle, they sit chewing on long thin pieces of grass and make plans.
Heaven I know, holds only glory for Seana. The horrendous suffering, the bitter tears, are now something Seana now longer faces. She has an eternity with Jesus, with her family members, with the saints of old. She has unending adventure, unending creativity to develop. In His presence Seana has this now – fullness of Joy.
Longing and sorrow
Here, now – how we ache, and oh, how we long for her. We miss Seana and all that she means to us. We groan with anguish. A part of what makes our family, a family, now lives in Heaven with others we have loved and lost. Still, we miss her, (we miss them…), and there is no getting around it, we must somehow learn to live without the ones we love.
Still, we hope. This song of hope, its rhythm beats in our hearts strong; one day we will see Seana again. Somehow, this hope travels alongside us, present with the grief ravaging our days.
Every day a new day.
A day to grieve and,
A day to hope.