We who believe grapple with questions, mysteries, and with paradox. There is madness in the world, tragedy. And, the sorrows of our own lives. The things we cannot understand. The injustices, the deaths of those whom we love, gone too soon, or those who lingered too long. And God invites our questioning, our wondering, our anger, and our tears. Like Jacob of old, we will not let go till He blesses us.
So, we circle back to the Heart that thrums with an Eternal love. To His nail-scarred hands. To One who weeps with us. And to trust, in all its complexity and simplicity.
He sustains us and carries us. He hears our prayers, our cries, our pleas. I have seen it – experienced it. Sometimes God answers in ways that are direct and breath-taking. And sometimes He responds in ways we cannot fathom. Sometimes He says “no” or “wait.” Oh, the agony of no, of waiting.
In the waiting and the heartbreak of the no, we reach out to Him in our anguish. And He with tenderness breathes mercy and grace to help in time of need. In those times faith burrows deeper still into the very fabric of our being. He can turn the fallow ground of our hearts over and there, right there, amid all our pain and anguish, of all our doubts and questions, our faith, “faith as small as a mustard seed,” can grow.
(Heb. 11:1 The Message).
“The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see.”
The seen and the unseen coexist in harmony with nature, the wind can’t be seen, yet, when it blows strong on my face, I know it is there.
He offers Himself
When we are reeling and overwhelmed, He offers us Himself. Courage, and strength for each day. He provides Presence, fortifying, and fervent. He gives us life and purpose even though we have borne things that are beyond imagining. And never has He left us. Never has He abandoned us.
There He is – always. Always there. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73: 25- 26 ESV. So, I come to know, in the deep places of my heart that I am loved, and I am held.
There is an old hymn: “When darkness hides His lovely face, I rest in His unchanging grace. On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand all other ground is sinking sand.”
Light in the darkness
2 Cor. 4: 6 NASB.
“For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”
He came to dispel the darkness. And one day He will make all things right. Our loving Saviour, the Man of Sorrows and acquainted with our grief gives grace, abundant grace. He is the Rock upon which we can stand.
Fainthearted and sore we turn to Him for relief, for refuge. And in those times of deepest pain, when we question and struggle, we wait to hear His voice. For He whispers words of comfort and of hope in the pitch darkness. The path we are on often long and winding. There may be hairpin turns and steep drops in the road.
Still, we cling to Him. We speak, low, and once again, sure, “I believe, help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24.